Sex Confession: Wife Says Husband Gets Turned On By Her Past Sex Stories

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I got my rocks off with some guy. But she did the most amazing thing. I am very happy I wasn't with anyone else, I feel it creates a greater bond somehow if you have only been with each other, noone else has ever touched that sacred place. She is over and done with them, so should you be.

Down the road I came across a diary of hers from high school and early college. Apparently she didn't realize I had counted them a few days earlier, and when I confronted her with it, at first she lied and said she didn;t take any, then when I told her that I cou. I worked and still work on my weak areas, such as social interactions. As a Christen woman,I have become offended by some of the words he uses while we are having sex…he uses the F word over and over again and wants me to be vulgar as well!

I'm fixated on my wife's past

The emails of exasperated husbands flood into my in-box, and I find myself wanting to have long heart-to-heart conversations with their wives about the cost of neglected sexual intimacy. I was once a wife long ago who was doing the neglecting, so we would definitely have that kindred soul thing going on. Yes, I do tend to write in the direction of wanting wives to stop going on lock down when it comes wifes past turn on sex. Husbands, here are 5 things that really turn wives off sexually… 1. That compounds it all as a big turn off. Wives hate it when their husbands look at porn. Any sex you have with your wife is going to be medicore at best and non-existent at worst. Wanting someone to join the two of you in bed. I know some of you may think it is outlandish that I would even suggest there are husbands requesting this sort of thing, but it does happen. Sometimes, the husband wants a threesome. Sometimes he just wants to watch his wife sexually with another person. Same goes for spouse swapping or anything else along those lines. More than likely what it means is she sees no other alternatives to salvaging her marriage with you. I know this is an often over-generalized point: Wives need emotional connection to feel loved and guys need physical connection to feel loved. Maybe a better way to state it is that a marriage void of emotional intimacy and wifes past turn on intimacy will be prone to big chasms of distance, contempt and obligatory sex. Fabulously delightful sex is the result of two people who have built a fabulously intimate friendship. Downplaying the importance of her sexual pleasure. Yes, more than likely, it will take her longer to climax than you. She may even fake orgasm to either protect your ego or to just bring a quick resolution to the whole ordeal. You better satisfy her sexually or someone else will. Encourage her to tell you and show you what it will take for her to climax. If you are a husband and you read through this list of 5 things, do you see where you could become more conscientious. And a wifes past turn on of encouragement to all you wives… if indeed you have a husband who is paying close attention to these 5 things and striving to honor you with his heart, time and body, are you reciprocal. He needs your love not just in word and theory, but in sexual action and attitude, too. Turning each other on sexually is worth it. Or, maybe she feels sad or insecure about something. Romance her as has often as possible without sex and talk. I suggest look for what you desire sexually in each other only like you have been doing. Buck October 31, 2016 at 1:03 am Yep I get it. Nor do I do any of these things perfectly. She has had some physical problems which I have tried to be attentive to. At the time she was drinking a lot and was in a depression. Now she spent us to the point of being wifes past turn on broke. Its pretty obvious she has no feelings for me and I am just a convienience. She does some nice things like making my lunch daily and such. All the while professing their Christian values and love of Christ. I was stupid enough to think it was something that could be worked through. Jill November 7, 2016 at 1:56 am I tried talking to my husband about me not wanting sex. I want to have sex but I have some emotional issues with him that I want to resolve. The issues get talked about but never solved. I am a woman and for gosh sakes so frustrated at times cuz I feel like everything has to be perfect for me too to orgasim it sucks and takes me so long and yes it bugs me that everything has to be perfect for me too. He even tells me that my job is to have sex with him and make him happy and it makes me hate doing it all together. And it doesnt help that every time i talk to him he tells me that im being emotional. But when i dont tell him whats wrong he tell me that i need to talk to him. But i dont think it matters anyway because he doesnt listen. He asks me multiple times what did i say. And recently he even told me he doesnt care so i shouldnt say certain things. But since you came here for a possible solution, I will offer you some suggestions. This is from the perspective of a wife married to a wonderful man for 12 years. Like in your marriages, the first few years of my marriage were great; my husband and I had sex like rabbits. This is going to be a little long, so bear with me. Even in those few initial months or years of marriage, she was always ready and desired you immensely and your sex life was great. Your wife was running on her emotional high and her view of you as a great man and leader. And then as things slightly cooled down sexually, in your desperate attempt to get more sex, you started to not only try to connect with her as a female which is a good thingbut also started to become more effeminate yourselves. This drove her sexual desire down and you responded by doing these things even more and more. Let me be honest with you, no heterosexual woman likes a man that acts like a woman. It used to annoy me when my husband did this. Listen to her advice intently, take her seriously, then lead her and make good decisions for your family. Be exciting take risks, seek adventure with your wife. Be a leader lead her and yourself into achieving your individual goals. Show leadership with your children and with other people around you. She can probably wifes past turn on them better and faster than you anyway. Be masculine exude a rugged, controlled mannerism, instead of wifes past turn on softer, gentler feminine energy. Be slightly mysterious and slightly unpredictable. Show ambition towards your work and your marriage. Have a good and active sense of humour This one is very important. Not a lot of women can resist a man that makes them laugh even if he fails in some other qualities. Be teasing playfully ruffle her feathers. Talk about sexual activities outside the bedroom, with some tact of course. Tell her and show her that you love her without compromising your masculinity. When my husband started implementing some of these attributes in his life and ours, I became so hot for him. I felt myself becoming more feminine, wanting to take care of him sexually and just in general. I did this because he exuded so much masculine energy, but he did it in such a way that he did not stop treating me with respect or giving me affection when I needed it. I began taking more care of my body with exercise and a healthy diet to look beautiful and sexy for him. I felt provided, protected and safe with him. Trust is a strong aphrodisiac for women. This is important because while I wanted a man that acted like a man, I did not want to be with a jerk. He was the man and I was the woman. It took me a little while to get into oral sex, but he never pressured me into doing it or made me feel guilty or like a terrible wife for not performing it. This helps because he has the same, even higher, drive in pleasing me and giving me orgasms. My orgasms turn him on so much. With all this, remember to still talk to her, because this is the primary way that women feel emotionally connected to you. I was reading some Christian blog the other day, where the blog author basically advised men to withhold affection, finances, flowers, dates, compliments and time spent with their wives in order to manipulate their wives into having more or better sex with them. And so, just like a prostitute, your wife may respond by giving you obligatory sex, where there is no actual desire and no enthusiasm. So you only get physical release without intimacy or emotional connection. If this is what you want, then go ahead and ruin your marriage this way. And true to the fact, this Christian blogger has confessed that since he implemented his methods, his wife gives him more sex but only gives him disinterested and unenthusiastic sex on a very regular basis. A man that has to trade favors and manipulate his woman into giving him sex is essentially a failure of a man. With these suggestions, will things get back to how it was in those glorious first few months of your marriage. But they will improve dramatically from what it is now. It may take a little time, but be patient. Either way, these are just my suggestions and what worked well for me and my husband. Take it with a pinch of salt if you like. If you have already tried these or been doing these things with no avail, then I guess the only thing would be to try counselling while still doing these things. There may be some other deeper issues going on. I see him being so manly in his everyday activities and interactions, and I literarily just want to jump his bones right there and then. Tom November 20, 2016 at 10:30 pm Olivia wifes past turn on some very good points. When the sex started waning after the birth wifes past turn on our first child, I did what most men do — they start jumping through hoops in an attempt to earn sex. I kicked it into high gear at my job rather than coasting because I could. Wifes past turn on whipped our finances into shape. I worked and still work on my weak areas, such as social interactions. For most Christian men, this feels completely alien. At the same time, there is a danger in putting anyone on a pedestal. And no one is sexually attracted to an emotional doormat. I think he is trying to problem solve. Express what you need and ask him to express what he needs. I sense your husband was simply trying to help you enjoy sex more. If you have other ideas beyond what he suggested, then bring those up to him. I have three beautiful kids and a beautiful wife who I love to death. We are a one income family I have work to provide for our family all these years. I get up go to work come home do the dishes go grocery shop and cook dinner. When it comes to intimacy my wife wants nothing to do with me. And when she does it Sames like she is doing it just to do it just to shut me up. So now I have told her that I was going to do my best to not look at her in that way anymore. She turns me on when I look at her when I kiss her when I hug her. My husband gawks at women all the time right in front of me, which hurts me so badly. I think the day he said this to me I died inside. I have never been the same since that day. December 6, 2016 at 2:09 pm I apparently have a husband who does all, but number one. I just love him so much outside of the bedroom and we have a wifes past turn on. He says let him be the man and let him make the moves. I give him all the conversation he needs so needing more one on one convo is ridiculous. His needs mean more to him than mine. I feel like a man married to a woman. But she treats me like I am her servant. Leaving her is the only answer. Remember friends, others are also lost. Too tired for sex…over weight…under weight…gawking at other people…no intimacy…too much time spent working…not enough time working…who cooks…who cleans…. John Fredericks January 18, 2017 at 2:18 pm My wife is a prude. Last weekend the kids were gone and we had the entire weekend to ourselves. There was a movie, some shopping, a few errands, and the kitchen was closed. Did I tell you that I get up at 5am. My wife thinks oral is pretty much dysfunctional. Missionary or woman on top only. I thought sex should be a total body experience. Misty January 29, 2017 at 1:14 am Been with my man for 6 years, going 7 now. He is a great responsible man. I was so sexually attracted to him. For the first three years we were into each other, had sex like there was no tomorrow. I love him but the sex slowed down as time passed. I tried my best not to deny his advances and I admit I faked orgasm 90% just to boost his ego. Lately I realized what was wrong. I am not emotionally satisfied anymore, we lost that emotional connection which is supposed to be important in marriage. He was busy making money and seemed to put our marriage to 2nd priority thats what I felt and I am resenting him for that. I also longed to be wanted with great passion not being rushedbut whenever we started having sex it feels like he doesnt even do his best kind of selfish I think. Now it just feels like its just another routine for me to complete. Not to mention his insensitivity and not taking care of himself killed it just having him brush his teeth every night is an ordeal. And marriage should be the 1st priority. Sure, we had years raising 3 kids that were ups and downs. Over the past 2-3 years I realized that I could be more attentive to her emotionally and just plain respectful to her as a person and wife. Yes, it takes swallowing some pride at times but I will say it was all worth it. No complaints sexually at all. Just over this weekend without the kids we had sex of some sort 9 times. Yes, from time to time I take a peak, I would say once around every 10 days to two weeks. In no way do I hide this nor do I throw it in wifes past turn on face. What exactly is the difference. Mostly the talk pertains to how stupid I am and how nobody likes me, and also all the dumb things I do that he so vehemently disagrees with, of course. I am afraid of what I might do to his member if I did go to bed with him, folks. Tea February 17, 2017 at 12:51 am My husband is a good man and awesome father. I am a sah mom and love him, I know he loves me. I know our marriage is in trouble. We only have sex twice a month, I try hard to get in the mood. I just wifes past turn on like I will never be enough. Maybe he keeps these videos to fantasize about other women. Brother stated sahmothering is no job it is a duty, my husband pretended he didnt hear anything. On Top of this we no longer talk anymore. We only conversate about whats for dinner and the kids or their school. He does not take his time and make love to me, when we are intimate after he gets his there is no round two for me. Just recently he got me preggo and it was totally unexpected as I was dieting and exercising. He asked me to abort, as hard as it was I did in fear that keeping it would make things worse. I am sad I did that because I grieve for that baby. I cannot talk to him, he often has nothing to say. No thoughts or comments or no feedback. I often fantasize about being how I feel inside…alone. Judy February 19, 2017 at 7:47 pm Hi Julie, I have wriiten you only a couple times before,and it has been a few years back. For years his favorite position to satisfy his needs was me on my back pinned beneath him,if you know what I mean…now he much prefers to take me from behind and seems to have a willingness to use dirty words during sex. As a Christen woman,I have become offended by some of the words he uses while we are having sex…he uses the F word over and over again and wants me to be vulgar as well. I read a post of yours you had put on your website a couple years back,dealing with what are acceptable words during sex in the Christen marriage. You said that many times you say. It is such a turn off for me,even though I want to statisfy my husband fully. It gets much worse than that. Christ is first in my life and I am becoming very worried about my soul as well as my husbands with being so vulgar in bed. Thanks Wifes past turn on look forward to hearing back from you,and I so much appreciate your website. But I have to put my wifes past turn on into this fascinating forum…. You give the man in you life what he needs and your life will be a walking orgasm. Julie Sibert February 22, 2017 at 7:19 am Judy… thank you for sharing so vulnerably about what is happening in your marriage bed. I am so sorry for what you are experiencing from the man who claims to love you and cherish you at least that is what the marriage vows indicate. I think your husband is being careless and insensitive. He is deriving sexual pleasure from something that is hurtful and degrading to you. The foundation of sexual intimacy in a marriage should be love and safety, and clearly your husband is disregarding both of these. If I were you, I would clearly reiterate again to him that using the language and his aggression in bed wifes past turn on repulsive to you. If he ignores your heart cry for more mutually-pleasing sexual intimacy, then suggest that the two of you go to counseling. I would also add that if after your clear communication that you do not want to participate in the coarse language and aggression, if he continues to force these issues on you, I think that is abusive. I want to make love to you, but not that way. Again, I am so sorry your husband is being careless with your relationship. Bek February 24, 2017 at 6:35 pm Hi Jayin terms of your comparisons of women reading novels or watching movies with watching porn. If you would like to look at research say for example by professor Gail Dinesalthough there is a lot more available you will see that even within mainstream porn around 88% of that material shows women being degraded and demeaned. This included being hit, spat on and called names like wh…s, and sl…ts. Broken down like a butchers shop. The next argument by porn users is often that the girls in porn are not real. Well I have a surprise for you. Many many women instinctively know this and sense the wrongness of treating another human being this way. In fact the wrongness of treating an wifes past turn on gender as if their only worth is their body Tell me is it fair when a wife had devoted her body to giving you babies and say thirty years of her life that you are masterbating to women the age of the daughters you share. You sound like a reasonable man and one who is reflective. Christian or not…they should get out. I believe that a lot of it comes from the fact that leadership in the church is not whole. If a spouse cannot keep trust due to having to have the other person in their lives…. The person needs to get help who is subjecting the other spouse to it and if they will not then they are breaking covenant. I think that the church also needs to start looking into depth what covenant means to God not out of duty but in His perfected love in us. When people are crying out for truth and love together humbly…the Lord will answer. You hit the nail on the head with this one. And when I am he expects me to wear or what this girl wears or does. Makes me want to tell him how my friends husband pleases her while making sure her body trembles at his slightest touch. Anon November 22, 2017 at 6:58 pm These five things are perfect. I love how it also asks the woman to be sexually attentive to their men at the end. I think for the most part women relate to this post. Sometime men can understand way us women are not in the mood. Pregnancy and gas being two of them ha. I think what really helps get libido going is exercise. My husband told me he wanted sex but stress at work was wearing him out. I found my husband desirable but I was just out of shape and lazy. I cook, clean and take care of our son for him. He works long 12 hour shifts to provide for his family. Then I keep my opinions to myself. We both are mentally committed. It just take practice It works for us.

When my husband started implementing some of these attributes in his life and ours, I became so hot for him. She's also worried that she's running out of stories. If you feel that counseling could be helpful, please look up counselors available in your area. It has a lot to do with how their sexuality developed, how they relate to other people and how they form and maintain relationships. Alas: fantasy never lasts long. The smoking makes me waste my time and money. Well, no, I have been trying to get her to talk for over a decade. You may like it and be turned on by it but for her its probably a big turnoff and may bring some issue up, maybe not for you but for her. I wouldn't get married to someone if I had to hide myself from them. You risk losing your marriage altogether as well as your sexual self-confidence. What is the reason for the periodic social contact if he lives far away? Let's face it, most of our wives have been horny for guys and have gotten 'naughty' with other guys.